I've ranted, and ranted, and ranted the previous two posts about romance and the fails I see. At the end of numero dos I had 3 reasons for people splitting up. The third was about "Unforgivable acts." I mentioned that what some consider to be "unforgivable" are plain stupid and you should just get over it. Other issues can leave a more painful and permanent mark. Guess what the main issue I'm thinking of is? No, it's not murdering the in-laws (or those to-be). No, I'm talking about cheating.
Cheating, having an affair, fooling around, etc... these are all terms for having a romantic relationship with someone other than your, what I will call, "registered significant other." This probably stems from either being bored with the other person, or just being that type of dirty person (slut, whore, man-whore ... you get it.) Regardless of the reason, it's downright wrong. Here are two scenarios of cheating:
Scenario !: Jane has been dating John for two years now. The initial getting-to-know-you time and red-hot fiery passion is over. Now they're just another couple. Jane meets another guy who she also finds attractive. Rather than just be friends with this person, or run in the opposite direction if she knows she can't control herself, Jane decides that it is a good idea to get intimate with him. Inevitably, John finds out and breaks up with Jane. Hopefully the other guy isn't stupid enough to realize that if she did this to John that the chances of her doing it to him are high.
Scenario 2: John and Jane have a good relationship, but John isn't getting his sexual desires fulfilled. Instead he gets a fuck-buddy. Jane finds out, blahblahblah, you know the rest.
There are obviously variations on this, all of them end up with shattered people. Hurray!
Then you get the couple who breaks up and within weeks one of the two is already dating somebody else. This can either point to the fact that they were cheating before, or at least thought about it. This can be especially true if the already-dating person was the one who broke off the previous relationship.
Now comes for my psychological analysis of people. Brace yourself.
If someone has had one very good relationship that lasted at least a year or two but in the end was severed on bad terms, and that person has several relationships soon after, chances are they're not really looking for a new partner; they're looking for that same person they had spent those years with.
If a couple repeatedly breaks up and gets back together, they may be expecting too much of the other person, putting too much stock into the relationship, or they're just plain stupid.
In short, romantic relationships often fail because one or both parties are putting too high of expectations on their partner. They want the relationship to be perfect (who doesn't,) but they fail to see the very true and somewhat cold reality that it won't be perfect. You have to learn to put up with someone. Obviously there should be limits to what you put up with, but you can't expect this person to live up to your high standards. In fact, you might have to lower yours. Compromise is key.
Read Part Four. I've already said most of what I want to, so hopefully won't be as depressing. :)
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